Explanations

People have asked me why I stopped writing for so long. It's a little difficult for me to answer that. All of my blogs were about God and how strong my faith was. Not saying that I don't believe because I've felt God and that's not something you can deny. However, I've never been the type of person to preach about something if I myself am not following by my words. Everyone has trials and tribulations... God has definitely been testing me. In some ways I have failed, but I am only human. I can admit to that. One thing I did learn when I was going to church all the time and trying to change my life was that when people are going through things the worst thing you can do is judge. They need support and guidance. People to lift them up and show them the light. Most of what I've been getting from people are just judgments. Which that is okay with me, because I know that my God loves me regardless. He loves me more than I will ever comprehend. Things have happened to me and I sit there and rack my brain trying to figure out why it happened or when the pain will go away, but that's where I go wrong. God makes everything happen for a reason. There is a reason I'm going through the things that I am. He is teaching me and letting me make my own mistakes so that I learn from them. People can say a lot of things about me, but don't ever judge my heart. I know who God is.. I've felt him and I talk to him everyday. I am not perfect and I will never be, but I'm learning every single day.

Closing the Book

Starting my senior year I would have never dreamed it would be taken away from me so quickly. For so long I was very upset, because I've missed out on so many things this year. However, last night I was looking through all of my yearbooks. I saw a lot of broken friendships, but even more crazy memories! There are so many people that I've met through high school that have helped shape and mold me as a person! They probably don't even know it! I don't get to talk to many people that much anymore, but I want you all to know the impact you've made in my life. Also the amazing memories that I will never forget!

 Katelynn Taylor taught me the meaning of true friendship. Thank God me and Paige Bowling never got arrested together!!! Love her. Watching Chloe Williams fall in the hallway everyday and learning to stick up for herself. Falling in love with Shae Anderson & her mommy <3 Endless fights with Mariah Mitchell and jumping off the cliffs at night. Hysterically laughing at all of Laurel Medlin's jokes! Deep deep talks with Bianca Whitehead. Fighting Cortney Smith in front of half the school, but still being as close as sisters. Crying my eyes out from laughing so hard at Samantha Hardmen. Acting like a complete retard with Kayti Loflin. Criminal Justice with Rayna Spears! Getting caught trying to leave school with Harley Journey. Watching Tara Reese come out of her shell! Redneck memories with Kaleigh Gregson!!!

Singing to the top of my lungs with Cruze Blanke. Vibration world with Joe shelton.....das coo. Mark Foley taught me how to do my "black girl pose". Rapping "We aint playin" with Mitchell Mcclaran. Fighting everyday, but making up 10 seconds after with Chase Roland. Honestly, what haven't I been through with Logan Brooks & Damon Shaw?! Failing Spanish with Lukas Medlin. Holding my breath at the bottom of the pool with Jordon Pugh. Brandon Hathaway teaching me how to dance. Pj Whittaker talking about my mom everyday. Correcting Bj Bass's grammar.Advice from Dalton Ray. Doing a dance around my coffee table with T-Ray Malone. Ryan Nevens always having my back! Random trip to Pulaski with Cody Swafford. Gaige Quibodeaux being the best guy friend anyone could ever have! Crazy nights with the "A-squad".

There are so many more, but i'd be writing all day. I just wanted you all to know that whether I still talk to you or not you guys made an impact on my life. I hold you all dear to my heart. Senior year is coming to an end, and we will all be going our separate ways! I wish nothing but happiness and success for all of you. :)

Now Time For College!!!!!!

heart ache.

Galatians 5:19 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs of happiness; 20 trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper;an impotence to love or be loved;divided homes and divided lives' small-minded and lopsided pursuits; 21 the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not enter God's kingdom. 

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard-things like affections for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. 

Changing my lifestyle has not been easy. When you go from living on an emotional roller coaster it is not easy to completely trust and let go of those old habits. However, God clearly says if you continue to live the way you are with the freedom he gave you; you will not enter his kingdom. It's not easy to let go of hurt and heart break that you have stored away in your heart. What most people do not know is that; the anger you have stored in your heart builds barriers. Barriers that God cannot get to, because you have them blocked off. I know this from experience that no person is strong enough themselves to let go of the hurt and anger. Those barriers can ONLY be broken down with God's help. Think about meat when you cook it. It starts off tough, not very tasteful, but then you marinate it. It becomes tender and flavorful. Your heart is the same way. You marinate your heart and mind in God's word. Your heart becomes tender and you feel those barriers being broken down. God takes the pain out of your heart and replaces it with joy. 

Psalm 147:3 He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. 

People strive for happiness, and they search for it in all the wrong places. Sex, Lust, Drugs, Alcohol. All of these things are fake, and they are temporary. You may feel good for a few moments, but do those moments really matter once reality sets in? 

No matter what you've been through what you've done; God loves you! If you are hungry and thirsty for happiness; turn to God. Run with him and keep running. You will not get tired. You will love and be loved. <3

He's there even in the whispers.

So it's been about a month or longer since I was saved and I've been going to church. I've been learning a lot about myself and also about God. A couple weeks ago I was at church on a Wednesday night and after worship one of my leaders came up to me. I had never talked to her before or told her anything about myself. She walked up to me out of no where, and said God told me to speak to you. So I was like okay... She said, "God told me that you struggle hearing him!" I sat there for a second and thought about it. One of my leaders Stephanie always speaks about things that God has told her. She will go into a store, and God will tell her to say something to a certain person or give someone something. I thought that was so amazing and I wanted it so bad! So when my leader told me I struggled hearing him, I was like YES I DO! I want to hear God so badly, I want to know that he's listening.. Well she told me that God is here even in the whispers. I didn't understand it at the time I just said okay, thank you and went about my night. Last night I was sitting on my couch by myself singing Lead Me To The Cross. I was so concentrated on trying to sound good that I wasn't even hearing the song or the message it was sending to me. Then all of the sudden in my head I heard loud and clear, "ALYSHA! Stop focusing on yourself and listen." I was in shock! I knew for a 100% fact that was God. So I listened to the words of the song. The next verse said "Rid me of myself, I belong to you." Once I heard that I knew what God was trying to tell me. I started praying... Suddenly I found myself crying my eyes out. The holy spirit hit me and my whole body was shaking. I was so so happy that I finally heard him. The whole time God was trying to tell me that I was too busy focusing on myself and the benefit that I would get from all of this that I was deaf to his voice. He was there speaking to me the entire time.  I just had my mind focused on myself. To love God and truly know him you have to be selfless. I'm still figuring all of this out, and I'm still lost about so many things, but the one thing that I know is that God is there always. You just have to be able to push out all other distractions and hear him. What I experienced last night was truly amazing. If you are like I was and you are having trouble hearing him, ask yourself, "Are my ears really open?" AND PRAY! God is here even in the whispers you just have to have faith and believe.

The triangle.

Society tells you that you should look or act a certain way to be "sexy". So naturally people are very focused on their looks. That's the problem. People are so obsessed with finding that amazingly beautiful girl or that super hot guy that they are losing focus on what really matters in a relationship. I can say this because I am guilty as well. However, I've learned a lot! I dated the same guy for a little over four years, and I was stuck in a relationship for allllllllllll of the wrong reasons. Nothing went right for us. I wasn't happy at all. The feeling was miserable and I was stuck. However, when I recently got saved God told me to let go of every negative attachment I had. So I let him go. God took my pain away and filled my heart with joy for listening to him! I want all of you to know that God should come first before ANY relationship with any guy. I've thought a lot lately and realized that the best thing for me right now is to not have any ties with anyone. I want to truly find who I am, and completely focus on God with NO distractions. Someone recently told me that the relationship with you and your special someone should be like a triangle. You two on the bottom and God at the top! That was the wisest thing I've ever heard. This is probably the best advice that I can give. Looks arent everlasting, but the heart is. Remember that.

Blow Your High

So this blog is based on Lacrae's song "Blow Your High". That song really hit home with me, because that is something that I used to do. I wish someone would have played me this song then, but they didn't. So I'm going to do so for some of you. Lets break this down. The first verse that hit me was this....

"Your body getting right, but your soul getting left. You think your getting high, but your really getting low. The devil got you blind from the weed that you blow. Your worshiping a tree instead of worshiping the king. When HE made everything"

Does that not resonate with all of you? It does with me. Getting high... Oh it's fun, you think you look cool. You want to "fit in" Yeah I get it. I was there, but guess what. When that "high" goes away... what are you left with? Emptiness... And a broke wallet. This was just on my heart, because I know so many people that should listen to this song. I'm just going to let you know this. The feeling in my heart right now since I have been saved is so much more amazing, so much more fulfilling, then any high you can get from a drug. I challenge you to give it a try. & BTW I apologize BUT I had to Blow Your High. :)))))))))

Distractions

Last night I posted my last blog. Since last night there have already been a few people that have tried to bring me down. People trying to bring drama to me. A month ago, I would've fed into that drama and started a war. However, no not today. NO ONE IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN. No one is going to block my light right now. People told me that when I was saved Satan would try harder then ever to tempt me, to knock me back down on my knees. Well I am just saying I am stronger than that, and it's not going to happen. My heart hurts for the people that have seen my blog or my testimony and gotten mad. I know how they feel. At one point I didn't want to hear anything that had to do with God, but I was hurting and I needed him more than ever. I now have him and it's an incredible feeling. Don't be scared to reach out to God. He will take you in with his arms wide open. I was living a sin, and now I am free. You can be too.