Monday, February 13, 2012
So it's been about a month or longer since I was saved and I've been going to church. I've been learning a lot about myself and also about God. A couple weeks ago I was at church on a Wednesday night and after worship one of my leaders came up to me. I had never talked to her before or told her anything about myself. She walked up to me out of no where, and said God told me to speak to you. So I was like okay... She said, "God told me that you struggle hearing him!" I sat there for a second and thought about it. One of my leaders Stephanie always speaks about things that God has told her. She will go into a store, and God will tell her to say something to a certain person or give someone something. I thought that was so amazing and I wanted it so bad! So when my leader told me I struggled hearing him, I was like YES I DO! I want to hear God so badly, I want to know that he's listening.. Well she told me that God is here even in the whispers. I didn't understand it at the time I just said okay, thank you and went about my night. Last night I was sitting on my couch by myself singing Lead Me To The Cross. I was so concentrated on trying to sound good that I wasn't even hearing the song or the message it was sending to me. Then all of the sudden in my head I heard loud and clear, "ALYSHA! Stop focusing on yourself and listen." I was in shock! I knew for a 100% fact that was God. So I listened to the words of the song. The next verse said "Rid me of myself, I belong to you." Once I heard that I knew what God was trying to tell me. I started praying... Suddenly I found myself crying my eyes out. The holy spirit hit me and my whole body was shaking. I was so so happy that I finally heard him. The whole time God was trying to tell me that I was too busy focusing on myself and the benefit that I would get from all of this that I was deaf to his voice. He was there speaking to me the entire time. I just had my mind focused on myself. To love God and truly know him you have to be selfless. I'm still figuring all of this out, and I'm still lost about so many things, but the one thing that I know is that God is there always. You just have to be able to push out all other distractions and hear him. What I experienced last night was truly amazing. If you are like I was and you are having trouble hearing him, ask yourself, "Are my ears really open?" AND PRAY! God is here even in the whispers you just have to have faith and believe.