Friday, March 23, 2012

Closing the Book

Starting my senior year I would have never dreamed it would be taken away from me so quickly. For so long I was very upset, because I've missed out on so many things this year. However, last night I was looking through all of my yearbooks. I saw a lot of broken friendships, but even more crazy memories! There are so many people that I've met through high school that have helped shape and mold me as a person! They probably don't even know it! I don't get to talk to many people that much anymore, but I want you all to know the impact you've made in my life. Also the amazing memories that I will never forget!

 Katelynn Taylor taught me the meaning of true friendship. Thank God me and Paige Bowling never got arrested together!!! Love her. Watching Chloe Williams fall in the hallway everyday and learning to stick up for herself. Falling in love with Shae Anderson & her mommy <3 Endless fights with Mariah Mitchell and jumping off the cliffs at night. Hysterically laughing at all of Laurel Medlin's jokes! Deep deep talks with Bianca Whitehead. Fighting Cortney Smith in front of half the school, but still being as close as sisters. Crying my eyes out from laughing so hard at Samantha Hardmen. Acting like a complete retard with Kayti Loflin. Criminal Justice with Rayna Spears! Getting caught trying to leave school with Harley Journey. Watching Tara Reese come out of her shell! Redneck memories with Kaleigh Gregson!!!

Singing to the top of my lungs with Cruze Blanke. Vibration world with Joe shelton.....das coo. Mark Foley taught me how to do my "black girl pose". Rapping "We aint playin" with Mitchell Mcclaran. Fighting everyday, but making up 10 seconds after with Chase Roland. Honestly, what haven't I been through with Logan Brooks & Damon Shaw?! Failing Spanish with Lukas Medlin. Holding my breath at the bottom of the pool with Jordon Pugh. Brandon Hathaway teaching me how to dance. Pj Whittaker talking about my mom everyday. Correcting Bj Bass's grammar.Advice from Dalton Ray. Doing a dance around my coffee table with T-Ray Malone. Ryan Nevens always having my back! Random trip to Pulaski with Cody Swafford. Gaige Quibodeaux being the best guy friend anyone could ever have! Crazy nights with the "A-squad".

There are so many more, but i'd be writing all day. I just wanted you all to know that whether I still talk to you or not you guys made an impact on my life. I hold you all dear to my heart. Senior year is coming to an end, and we will all be going our separate ways! I wish nothing but happiness and success for all of you. :)

Now Time For College!!!!!!

Monday, March 5, 2012

heart ache.

Galatians 5:19 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs of happiness; 20 trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper;an impotence to love or be loved;divided homes and divided lives' small-minded and lopsided pursuits; 21 the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not enter God's kingdom. 

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard-things like affections for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. 

Changing my lifestyle has not been easy. When you go from living on an emotional roller coaster it is not easy to completely trust and let go of those old habits. However, God clearly says if you continue to live the way you are with the freedom he gave you; you will not enter his kingdom. It's not easy to let go of hurt and heart break that you have stored away in your heart. What most people do not know is that; the anger you have stored in your heart builds barriers. Barriers that God cannot get to, because you have them blocked off. I know this from experience that no person is strong enough themselves to let go of the hurt and anger. Those barriers can ONLY be broken down with God's help. Think about meat when you cook it. It starts off tough, not very tasteful, but then you marinate it. It becomes tender and flavorful. Your heart is the same way. You marinate your heart and mind in God's word. Your heart becomes tender and you feel those barriers being broken down. God takes the pain out of your heart and replaces it with joy. 

Psalm 147:3 He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. 

People strive for happiness, and they search for it in all the wrong places. Sex, Lust, Drugs, Alcohol. All of these things are fake, and they are temporary. You may feel good for a few moments, but do those moments really matter once reality sets in? 

No matter what you've been through what you've done; God loves you! If you are hungry and thirsty for happiness; turn to God. Run with him and keep running. You will not get tired. You will love and be loved. <3