Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Okay, so I have been experiencing some amazing things in my life lately. All I want to do is share how I feel, and maybe it will inspire some of you! So many of you guys know me as the crazy party girl, and yes at one point I was. However, I can honestly say that is no longer who I am now. I was in high school trying to fit in and be everyone else's definition of "cool". I had so many things going wrong in my life, and I blamed God. I turned my back on him. I got so caught up in what I was doing and who I was trying to be that I lost myself. I have suffered many losses due to my stupidity. I was lost in a relationship that was doing nothing but pulling me farther and farther apart from god. I couldn't even have fun without being high or drunk. It was so pathetic. I thought those things were making me feel better when in all actuality it left me feeling more empty then when I started. Two weeks ago my life changed. I went to someone's house expecting to not be there long and leave. I didn't even want to go. It turns out that we got into a deep conversation about God. That conversation saved me from going to a party that night. The whole night I sat there and thought about the last time I prayed... I couldn't even remember. That made me so ashamed of myself. I continued to think.. I have been at the lowest point in my life. There was nothing else that could go wrong seriously. Something sparked in me, and it was god. I went to church last Wednesday for the first time in a very long time. I felt god speaking to me. That night I broke up a four year relationship because God told me to change and let go of what was going to bring me down. So I did. Tonight I went to church and experienced something that was so amazing words cannot describe. I've been so lost in life and trying to find the right path.. I was looking in all of the wrong places. GOD IS THE ANSWER. I prayed tonight at church. I told God to save me. I have been wanting to accept him into my heart for so long, but I had so many distractions. He told me tonight to let them go. That he has me now, and he will never let go. I broke down and just cried. I cried really really hard, but it wasn't a sad cry. It was a cry of relief a cry of happiness. I want you all to know that if you are like I was; if you are lost in life. Look up, GOD IS THE ANSWER :) It's crazy because this is just the beginning, and I am happier then I ever have been in my entire life. I am on fire for God.